Cell Phones and The Relationship: Written by Jay “Onlyjayraw” Ridges, Entertainment Writer/Podcaster
Long before cell phones came into play the communication gap between couples always had a trying attempt to communicate. Welcome to cell phones and the relationship. I remember early on it was the “how can I contact you?” “Call me when you get home” methods. Times have changed since our parent’s ways of communicating. Early in my relationship, the cell phone was just that, a phone to talk on. Prior to Meeting my wife back in 2004, I had a bedroom phone and occasionally a cell.
I had a prepaid phone from AT&T that had the worst service ever. My calls would drop and I ran out of minutes so fast. I remember giving girls my homeboys cell number if they wanted to reach me, I wasn’t a poor teenager, just didn’t find the need for a cell phone at the time. If we were gonna talk, it would be in the confines of my bedroom, the late-night phone sessions. Who remembers those?
I prided myself on being a great late-night phone guy. Talking and building were some of the joys I had. By the time I met my wife at the age of twenty my phone game was stronger than a Mike Tyson right hand in the 80s. Still having a crappy prepaid cell and a room phone in my grandparent’s apartment, my girlfriend (soon-to-be wife) decided it was time I stepped my game up to a new phone. Now I wasn’t looking to pay a crazy bill, but she had a hookup at a sprint store, and that’s when I got myself a Nextel!
My Cell Phone Downfall
Now it wasn’t the fancy ones that friends of mines had, it was a construction worker type phone. The rubber on the sides and front. But I was happy to be stepping into the world of the “chirp”. That cell phone that my wife had gotten me changed my world. A free phone and no phone bill (don’t ask how it was free) really made me start to feel myself. I would be outside talking and chirping like I was really important. Having that instant contact with your friends was the beginning of my cell phone downfall.
Now being able to connect with any and every one had its ups and downs, especially when you are in a relationship. Pre social media days we had AIM, oh I know anybody over 30 remembers AOL Instant Messenger. So now we have this form of socializing without even talking or evening have a phone number associated with a person was something that I was in wow of. I don’t come from a tech background, but I’m pretty tech-savvy, and I knew if I was going to connect with any and everyone I wanted to connect to, I’m going to need to up my phone game and get the highest tech phone out. But see the problem is when you are a newlywed there’s no connecting with any and everyone. Wish someone would have told me this beforehand.
Time To Step My Cell Phone Game
A few days after my wedding I and my wife went phone shopping, she brought herself the red Motorola Razor, while I went for the gusto, the brand new Palm Treo. It was a first of its kind. It came with front buttons, a stylist, even a place for a memory card. I was balling. I had no real business for the phone but I knew I wanted to be a step ahead of the game plus keep in contact with friends across every form of communication. Whether it was email, aim, or by this time MySpace. But early on my wife was not having this, I was constantly on the phone with my friends. I’ve gotten into issues with inappropriate communication while browsing the web. But the past is the past so let’s move on.
Fast forward a bit, now I have been through almost every new phone there was – I had blackberries, Treo’s, and now iPhones. I convinced my younger brother to give me his iPhone, IDK how I was able to do that but it was the 3rd generation black iPhone. And again I was in awe, felt like the man. I remember being home one night, on Facebook and my wife said “you be on the phone like you have a business, put the phone down and give me some attention.” That was the point I started to realized she was right, maybe my head is down so much that I don’t give her attention, but also maybe I should turn this into a business somehow. It’s time to rethink my love for cell phones and the relationship.
The Social Media Mess I Made
Social media is about to explode with influencers and I wanted in on the action. I wanted to be the next big thing on Instagram, Facebook, and even Twitter for that matter. Therefore, my phone and I was gonna make it happen. The attention my wife was asking me for was on the back burner. I’m trying to make this happen – I remember telling her.
At the time, I was promoting a party and writing a caption to post it to my Instagram account. The flyer had some half-naked lady on it. In my caption, I tagged a bunch of women. Now to some regular joe, this means nothing. Yet, the hurt and pain that I saw in my wife’s eyes from that post hurt. I didn’t want to see that look again. I thought I was running a great operation through the tapping of my phone all I was doing was hurting the woman I love.
A New Life For Cell Phones And The Relationship
I quite promoting events and turned my attention to the family more. Even took more thoughts into my postings for my blog IG account. Want to hear something funny? It’s my wife who’s all into her phone now. The same one who had a great issue with me talking to all my friends, posting crude stuff on Instagram. Is the same one who likes the crude postings from others. The tables have turned on me in a big way.
It has gotten to a point where my wife will have a full conversation with her girlfriends – while in the shower. Conversations continue while washing getting dress and heading out the door, while the most I get is a good morning and a goodbye kiss. What happened to all that attention she needed?
The best way to build and grow with your partner is being able to communicate not only to them but with them. Schedule your friend’s time, social media during your social media time. It’s a great way to reconnect, lose yourself in each other don’t get lost trying to connect with each other.
Written by Jay “Onlyjayraw” Ridges, Entertainment Writer/Podcaster